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It is interesting how guilt creeps it’s way into our lives during times of tragedy. Valerie and I just returned from trying to secure and clean up our little “Coastal Cottage” in Englewood, Florida. Our little beach town was hit extremely hard and our neighborhood was absolutely decimated. Our winter home is likely beyond repair. Roof gone, carport and laundry room a pile of rubble, the lanai blown to pieces, significant water damage with concerns for rapid mold growth. We are the third generation to own and enjoy this home. My grandparents were the original owners, then my parents, then us as we bought it from mom and dad in 2015. Valerie spent three years lovingly renovating it. But it is a winter home not our primary home that we love and enjoy in Indiana. We have several wonderful Florida neighbors/friends who are “Full Timers”, not “Snow Birds” like us. It is all they have. It was both disheartening and demoralizing to drive into the neighborhood each day this week. But we get to drive away, they don’t. That is where the guilt creeps in.

Tom and Valerie Davis

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Oh Tom, I'm so sorry to hear about your family home. I completely understand the survivor's guilt, but cannot fathom the way you're feeling about having lost a home that's been in the family and lovingly restored.

Godspeed to you and Valerie. I hope to see you in 2023 when I return to the river.

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This is so timely for me in so many ways, Tamela. I still remember waking up right after you came back into Stuckey and discovering not long after that my own car was a lost cause. I am writing about my family in Hurricane Agnes and the flood of 72 in northern Appalachia (the Southern Tier of NYS, to be specific), which is now leading me to unearth stuff about a previous flood in 1935 (and another in 1916, and another in the 1890s...) . I also really resonate with your descriptions of residual trauma and survivor's guilt. This stuff is real. Thank you for putting words on it.

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With climate change I fear a lot of us will be revisiting flood traumas of our own and our ancestors. I will have to look up Hurricane Agnes in 1972. Where is Souther Tier of NYS?

xo

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Agree 1000%. The Southern Tier is the counties that border Pennsylvania - Broome, Chemung, Chenango, Delaware, Schuyler, Steuben, Tompkins, and Tioga counties. Often Allegany, Cattaragus, and Chautauqua too. My father's family has been in Steuben since the Revolution (whole different set of things to unpack there...) It's freaky how intergenerational trauma plays out. Researching and writing this event seems to be helping process my own stuff. Agnes affected a lot of the eastern US, but came really far inland for a hurricane, and they'd already had record rainfall...

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